The Last Day at Silent Barn
on the last day of silent barn all of its layers were unraveling for me. maybe it was the last show at silent barn. it was appropriately a rainy evening and i showed up by myself because silent barn was one of those places in brooklyn you could just end up at and run into familiar faces / ex-lovers / close friends / bandmates. i met several new people on the last night including folks involved with BUFU and new trans friends & it was a golden opportunity to introduce myself as my chosen name which i stumbled through because phonetically my given name sounds / starts / begins from the same location on your tongue.
hi my name is chris. hi chris, i’m sonia. (fuck i should have told her my name is crystal. too late now)
hey my name is crystal. hi i’m clever. nice to meet you clever.
hi i’m crystal. (she stares at me shyly) hi crystal my name is lucy. hi lucy nice to meet you.
dreamcrusher’s set was one of the last sets of the evening and they started with a looping voice sample and i somehow found myself in the area where the stewdios used to be but now they’re all torn down and the only thing art related in the back was an exhibition involving fermentation and a group of skateboarders were there practicing shove its ollies and kickflips playing a game of S-K-A-T-E
hi lucy, do you want to check out dreamcrushers set with me? i’m just here to help my friend clever clear out their stewdio. oh great, how come I’ve never met you before? I don’t know i wondered the same about you.
lucy was wearing a faux-fur coat that draped past her knees and underneath the faux-fur was a fishnet bodysuit and a skirt wrap to cover the annoying part of wearing a bodysuit and her boobs were totally free underneath the fishnet bodysuit and it made me wish i could pull off that look
it came to a point in the conversation where we stared at each other listening to the skateboards slaps and dreamcrusher blow out silent barn’s PA and she asked me what do you want to do crystal? i’m really attracted to you and i’m wondering if you want to make out. yes i would like that.
lucy walked over to her bag in the corner of the room and took out a metal water bottle and Took A Very Large Swig Of Water and walked over to me and i could smell her body smells and pheromones as we slowly embraced and started to make out in a way where we’re both exploring each other’s bodies and souls because we just met thirty minutes ago. not before long, the skateboarders became an audible distraction and the overhead stewdio lights were gnawing at our souls.
how do you feel crystal? i feel pretty good how are you feeling? i feel good too do you want to go outside? sure but it’s raining. that’s okay.
we climbed the treehouse in the yard and lucy wrapped me in her faux-fur and we continued to make out slowly and explore each other’s body and soul and there was a lot of warmth between the both of us but we both shivered because the rain was falling on us. do you want to go back to my place lucy? yes i would like that.
we walked to the most difficult maze that is myrtle-broadway and lucy walked into big boy deli and bought a schweppes seltzer in a glass container and i watched the cashier stare at the two of us as lucy pulled out cash and coins from her wallet to pay for the glass scheweppes. we waited for the M shuttle outside.
glass is nice. yes it’s a functional projectile in case you need to defend yourself. lucy opened the glass scheweppes and Took A Very Large Swig Of The Bubbly Water and the shuttle bus came and looking around on the shuttle bus with lucy was the first time i felt calm and not stressed out about being in public and having someone call me by my chosen name and giving less fucks about what other people think about my stubble and lucy’s stubble and our visibly trans selves. we got off at myrtle-wyckoff and lucy held my hand as i got off the bus and she walked briskly so i held on and tried to keep up. i clicked on my salt lamp in my room with lucy in it and the warm glow of the salt lamp wrapped around our bodies into the night.