Crystal’s Vagina Club have a look at some of our stones

the view from my hospital window and a friend holding a trans ally workbook

Day 2 Breakfast

Yahaira gets me walking while the nurses change my sheets. 


The first walk was to the front door and back. On the second walk, I removed my gown and saw myself in the mirror for the first time since surgery revealing my naked body with sutures, black foam, tape, and tubes covering my vagina. But no dick. No more dick.

i spent three nights at the hospital and on the fourth day, i was cleared to be discharged from the hospital so i can recover in my own bed at home. while i loved the hospital nursing staff, i was getting tired of the stuffy hospital environment. most patients don’t have a bowel movement for a week but it turns out my system was up for the task. i also wanted the help of the hospital staff in case anything went wrong. they gave me some prune juice and that seemed to help carry along things. i called for the staff to come in and when i sat down on the toilet i reflexively tried to tuck my Penis into the toilet bowl but now it’s a phantom sensation and its only presence was muscle memory. i had no problems gettings things going but the ventilation in the tiled bathroom was poor which triggered my nausea and sitting on the toilet was very uncomfortable as well as pushing which triggered some pins and needles somewhere. i call for the nurse and immediately felt like i was fading and my vision getting blurry and white and my hearing sounding more distant like i had a set of earplugs in. the nurse helps me up and wipes my ass and we slowly make our way back to the bed so i could get my bearings again. Your Face Looked Pale, I Got There Just In Time. i’m handed juice and it helps bring me back for the trip home. 

You’ll Be Walking From Here To The Entrance Downstairs. sounds good, i can’t wait to get home. 
my dad and step mom brought their suitcases so they can go straight to airport after visiting me one last time at the hospital. we take photos while i’m lying in the hospital bed and he looks at me and says:
I Finally Got My Girl.

they leave and i’m feeling a little exhausted from the day’s events. Yasme the RN angel on duty hands me discharge instructions along with prescriptions for tylenol for pain, gabapentin for nerve pain, oxycodone for mega pain, colace for stool softening, keflex for anti-biotics, and metronidazole for vaginal dilation. hardware: i’m handed what Yahaira calls my Gucci bag in the form of a black carry-case for my wound vac, a catheter bag, and a set of sole source dilators. Yasme teaches my partner and my spooky girlfriend how to empty the catheter bag. since i’m already looking insane with these tubes hanging out of me, i complete the look with my turquiose sweatshirt that says Good Girl Gone Rad printed in some kind of Diner Typeface underneath a white bathrobe because my friend Shannon says that it’s stock for lesbians so i ditch the gown for its cotton embrace.

i call the nurse because it’s time to get blow this joint. 

hey i’m ready to get up out of here
Okay Great We’ll Be Right Back To Discharge You

my partner leaves the hospital room to get the lesbaru which is parked down the street. we’ll time it so that she can pull up in front of the hospital and i can jump in the car.

Yahaira comes back in with a wheelchair.
Here’s Your Chariot! Are You Ready To Go Home?
yes but i thought i was going to walk
Okay We Can Try Walking
yeah let’s do it

we have this routine of getting out of bed: i plant my left foot on the ground and grab Yahaira’s arm with my right hand and use the leverage from my left foot to lift myself up and then balance with my right foot. we do this routine and i’m upright again.
i make my way down the hall with my spooky girlfriend and Yahaira and we enter the elevator to descend from the 8th floor to the ground floor. i waddle past the security desk and we wait at the front door until my partner shows up in the lesbaru
You’re Breathing A Little Harder Are You Feeling Okay?
yeah i’m fine i just need to get in the car