crystal’s rock shop
feel free to have a look around

the pregnancy ~~~

- Four more laser appointments
- Dr Courey and the froggy voice
- The first time I put on heels
* First laser appointment
- At the drafting table with iris
Initial Consult with Dr Jess Ting
    + Info Packet

learning how to be ~~~

Existing in women-only spaces
Voice therapy lessons with Rachel
* I got bangs and suddenly began to be treated as a woman
* CTMS support group
* In Search of Self-Care
New zone / Court zone
* PR #47f4b96 Changes ‘chris to crystal’
The last day at Silent Barn
Opening up new relationships 

at first we had no words and no emotions ~~~ 

- Can’t you just meditate on that
- Coming out
- espylacopa

the san francisco years
- OMGpride
- g’s book clinic
- is that a dress?
- you’re a gay man’s wet dream

norma carries a girl to be named christina  ~~~
* 0344am

crystal’s rock shop —
what is this website?
a transwoman’s account of transitioning medically at the Mount Sinai Center for Transgender Medicine. Surprisingly very little information exists, from a client perspective, on the type of care they provide, so this is a resource for women seeking medical care at this facility. This covers bottom-surgery, laser hair removal, hormone replacement therapy, social work, speech pathology, and therapy.

how does this thing work?
each entry is organized by year so click on anything with an asterisk in front of it and you’ll jump to that story. there’s navigation at the bottom of each entry so you can go to the next entry from that page.

I want to join the club


First Laser Appointment

Union Square

my first in a set of five laser appointments begins at 0920am and i’m early because i’m anxious to get started on any steps related to surgery. the night before i shaved everything below the bush which takes some angling and stretching and bending over to get the best shave. i’m at mount sinai at union square and at the surgery office on the 2nd floor and its modest lighting. there’s only one other person waiting in the office at 0900am and i walk to the front desk.

hi i’m crystal. Hi Honey I Need You To Do This Paperwork Make Sure You Initial Everything. okay will do thanks. 

this time the paperwork is just a list of risks you could have if you’ve been tanning on the rooftop or over at Riis. i select no for everything, sign a consent form, list off medications i take, and turn in the paperwork. my name is called and i respond in my feminine voice. i‘m led to the back again by the laser tech and an assistant.

Hi I’m Jonas. hi jonas nice to meet you. This Is An Assistant Who Will Join Us For The Hair Removal, She’s In Training And Will Be Observing The Procedure. okay great happy to be observed.

we go through the same hallway as the first consult and i’m brought into the same exam room with the stirups chair and the laser hair removal machine. the laser machine for face lasers is very large compared to this it looks like a gas pump on wheels. 

Can You Change Into This Gown? 
jonas closes the curtain and i start removing my clothes and put on the gown. 
Did You Get A Chance To Shave? yes. Great. We Ask Everyone To Shave The Night Before So That When We Apply Alcohol To Clean The Area That It Doesn’t Sting. Please Sit In The Chair And Place Your Feet In The Stirups.
i sit down and i’m being tilted backwards
Please Open Your Legs.
i open them a modest amount.
Please Open Them Further So I Can Full Access To The Area.
hmm okay second time i’ve been asked i wonder if this is my dysphoria
So This Laser Machine Will Apply A Cool Jet Of Air And Then A Pulse Of Heat. I Will Move The Tip To Remove As Much Hair As Possible. okay sounds good. Please Put On These Goggles.
he hands me a pair of rubber goggles and i put them on and they completely cover my eyes.
Okay I’m Going To Begin And I’ll Go Slowly So You Get An Idea Of How Things Feel. great i’m ready.
jonas begins and as he’s applying the tip in different areas of my genitals i feel an icy hot sensation that feels prickly.
How Does It Feel? keep going this hardly feels like anything. Great. this laser machine is different it hardly makes a sound. This Is The Rolls-Royce Of Laser Machines. that’s amazing.

unlike face lasers this laser machine barely makes a sound and i realize that the mechanical whirring of the face laser machine is a nice distraction to focus on. good thing this machine hardly feels like anything remotely painful.

so what happens after these sessions if i still have hair? I Work With Dr Jess Ting In The Operating Room So When I’m De-fatting And Preparing The Skin I’m Using A Scalpel To Scrape Away Any Remaining Hair Follicles. The Laser Makes Sure We’re Not Spending A Lot Of Time Doing Hair Removal During Surgery. okay great hairless is still the goal.

jonas is taking his time and being pretty gentle with me which i can feel in how he uses the machine and handling the all the corners of my genitals. as he works he’s vocalizing what he’s doing for the assistant which really helps me out to not be surprised. a few moments of silence pass and he’s lasering my taint now.

hey thanks for telling me what you’re doing before you do it that’s really helpful for me. No Problem.

there’s this practice i learned called orgasmic meditation and the whole thing is basically vocalizing your desires when one person is stroking your clit. part of doing that successfully is transporting the person, which is tell them what you’re going to do before you do it. for more experience folks this might be annoying but i love this kind of care and would really want any care provider to vocalize their steps. he finishes my taint and it’s an area that i have a difficult time shaving without cutting myself.

How Was It? that was great pain was one out of ten would do again. Yeah That’s What Most People Say. You’ll Get Used To It Next Time And Be Jumping In The Chair Ready For Laser Again. yeah totally.

i put my clothes on and ditch the gown and walk out of the exam room.

hey you’re great thanks for your work. Thanks See You Next Time.

i exit and get a strong coffee at Joe’s. there could be worse ways to start your day off at the doctors.